What I'm Reading...

If you know me personally here’s a fact you might know about me… I’m a reader. Since an early age I have loved books and getting lost in the imagery and characters I get to paint in my mind through the author’s words.

The older I get the fewer fiction books I read and the more christian living/inspirational books find their way to my must read list. I almost feel as though I’m wasting my time on fiction these days because there is so much about myself I am trying to discover, change, fix, correct… in other words just live differently.

That being said last week I completed the book I was reading and as I was getting ready for work was contemplating what I would start next that was currently residing on my shelf… the thought has been occurring the past few weeks to read Joyce Meyer’s “Battlefield of the Mind” next but I have been continually shrugging it off. This particular morning again I thought that I should read this next and again I decided against it…until I checked my email later that day.

The women’s small group that I am in had decided at the last meeting (that I wasn’t in attendance at) to read “Battlefield of the Mind”. I knew this was a sign, I need to read Joyce’s book and God’s timing for this is now.

battlefiled of the mind

I am only in the first few chapters and there is something that she has said that really stuck with me profoundly “Satan was already waging war on the battlefield of her mind. Play those thoughts over and over in your head a hundred thousand times or more over a period of ten years, and see if you’re ready to get married and become a sweet, submissive, adoring wife. Even if by some miracle you should want to be, you won’t know how.”

I completely relate to this example…my inner dialogue is not as happy and joyful as I verbally communicate. I often feel like a failure and subconsciously tell myself what else can I expect? I did find myself wanting to be the wife described above and I don’t know how. After suffering from emotional, mental and physical abuse from childhood to adulthood I have never seen what this version of a wife looks like and how she acts. All I knew was hurt and anger and how to hold tight to those things…exactly what the devil wants so that the cycle of hurt continues on through my generation to that of my children.

Through this book I will learn that I HAVE and MUST change my thoughts and that change comes from hearing, and hearing from the word of God. Romans 10:17 I am no longer trying to build this image of a happy wife and life from thin air, I will build it from His word and only with His strength because I know I can’t do this on my own.

I will close with this… “Our past may explain why we’re suffering, but we must not use it as an excuse to stay in bondage.” –Joyce Meyer

loves- Cookie Louise

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